The last time i came here it was back then,when i was a teenager.I used to come here and relax,"hiding" from the people i had always by me,with me every day,my friends who were "too many",as i thought then,the ones who were generating in me the need for some peace and quiet,and that's what i could find here.(Some of them may find it out now,by reading this post).
Almost every time i came here i had something in my mind,one of those problems which seem to be ENORMOUS when you are in your teens,the "life or death" issues which you remember some years later and just laugh.Or maybe it wasn't a problem in my mind,but an excitement, a happy event,a good grade in school,a new girlfriend,a night out with friends,full of laughs,drinks and dance...
Something between,not a problem,neither a happy thought,was my never answered question :
"Where am i going to be ten years from now?Who and what am i going to be?".Sometimes it made me dream on and imagine my self as a successful doctor,some other times it scared me with the thought that i will end up homeless,with no friends,no memory and no "legacy" to leave after me...
Ten years later(maybe twelve) this is where i am again.On the same port,on the same spot and i am maybe sitting on the exact same flat stone (after all,this is Greece,the country that always renovates but you can never see any renovation!).On this port again,being fat again,feeling lonely again,wondering about my brief future once again: should i go or should i stay?
(Oh,shit!Really,shit!I can see it in front of me,coming up in the water...or is it my future?)
It was Greece VS Serbia back then,it is Greece VS Medicine now.If i stay here,in my mother country,i will be with my relatives,my parents,my friends,able to speak in my language,but unable to work and "shine" in medicine,at least not for the next five years!!!
If i go,my life as a doctor begins immediately,the lancet finally "gets in my hand",but i will be far away and with no relatives,no parents,no friends,without our shiny Greek sun and with no chance to come back again!I will be forever lost!!!
The time has passed now,it's late noon and i have to go to work.Goodbye,my love,my port,my Tower,my sea!I will come back soon,i promise!Even if i decide to leave,i will come to let you know,so you won't expect me...
P.S.:While i was writing these last words,the "universe" played a funny game with me :
-a father with his two young children came near me and started yelling...in Serbian!!!
-the song "Where the streets have no name" was on the radio...
(and while i was posting,i was listening to this and this)
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